Has anyone spared a thought for the humble pumpkin?

One minute all innocent, sat happily minding your own business, in a lovely field, when suddenly all hell breaks loose, the children come…..

It must be a traumatic experience, watching your mates kidnapped and wrested away, bungled into a wheelbarrow and smuggled back to the child’s lair, where a fate worse than death awaits.

Stabbed in the face, topped like a boiled egg, brains scooped out and your skull used as a lamp shade.

It’s enough to turn a vegan’s stomach.

Anyway kids of all sizes, carving kits at the ready it’s coming.

The pumpkin patch will be open for pick your own from Friday 11th October.